Love Doesn't Hand out Free Breakfast

It's getting cold outside, especially at night, although we don't notice it as much as our friends from the green do. We've also had a smaller group of people now, about 10. I'm guessing the rest of the people who used to come are in shelters now??? Even those who do still come down to the green are for the most part staying in shelters. This week, we saw a friend who has been coming to breakfast for awhile now, I'll call him Will. At 8am he had his hood over his head, hands in his pockets and looked cold, even though it wasn't cold outside. I commented about it and he said he hadn't made it to the shelter in time the evening before and spent the night outside, and still felt cold. I am finding that as I get to know the people at breakfast better, I relate to them emotionally. Instead of just feeling empathy for him I feel personally sad and I hurt. When he then told me that he's going to have an apartment to live in a week from now, I felt joy. I related to him on a deeper level and instead of thinking "good for you" or "I'm happy for him", I actually felt happy. As I have related to him at a deeper level, hi joy became my joy. I guess this is a tiny bit how God feels about us, and how we are meant to feel about someone we love. God feels our pain, and it hurts Him. God feels our joy, and it makes Him happy, because he loves us. While He feels to a much greater extent than we do, I am learning a little more about how God loves me and everyone who has come to breakfast, and about how God wants me to love them in the same way. I am learning that love doesn't hand out free breakfast, or give money, resources or time to a cause and make itself feel good about itself while remaining safely disconnected emotionally and relationally. Love isn't safe.

oh those benches

Last summer I lived on a different side of town, and worked a lot of mornings. I would walk through the green nearly every morning and take pictures like the ones above. ....Something always intrigued me about the benches. There were always remnants of life left lingering on them in the morning..... bits and pieces here and there left over from the previous days loneliness. I always felt bad that was the only story those benches seemed able to tell. I brought my camera down to the green today to get pictures of people since it was my last time....and I sat there looking at the bench, getting an angle for a picture.
And then I realized. then I remembered.
And I stared at that bench bewildered but smiling. It was now full of food. full of something that helped create joy and life and laughter and love.
And here I was yet again taking pictures of the benches down on the green. But now one had a different story to tell.

Some Pictures -it's my last breakfast on the green in new haven... : (